Dec 112014
As Ruby was getting dressed into her red dress she heard she heard a knock so she opened the door. She felt quite nervous about the celebration. As Ruby’s Auntie walked in she came in with a strange guest, it was Santa with the presents! There were lots of presents for every one. Ruby had lots of presents because she had been a very good girl this year. Every one loved the party, they had turkey and veg and for pudding they had some cake. After that, every one was dancing and it lasted until midnight, it was amazing.
Well done, Charlee. You have written a good story about Ruby’s surprise. I wonder how her auntie knew Santa? I thought that a few of your commas might have been better if they had been full tops to make the story ‘flow’ a bit more.
I hope you have a lovely Christmas and come back in 2015 with lots of great writing.
This was left by Mr. Hyde as it went into spam!