Nov 122014
Dear diary 11th November
Today I was in a awful fight with lots of other soldier. I did not get hurt thogh.I felt afraid when I left people I loved.The war is hard because you have to listen to your strict boss and sometimes you don’t want to listen to your boss. you have to tack your gun arownd with you evrithiwere eaven to bed.i miss all my family ecspeshaly my brother he dose ethrithing for me
yours sincerely,
Taylor
Good things…
The word awful
Very interesting
The way you described the feelings
Wish: remember capital letters
I like you made it realistic.
I like that you used connectives .
You used the rite punctuation .
W:hope you could check your sentences if they make sense.
I liked when you tolled us when the solider wrote the letter.
I liked it when you told us about your Boss.
I liked it when you told us who you missed.
W: try to used conectives and openers.
We like that you used first person propley in your work.
We like that acted like a real super solider in the war.
Also we like that you cool connectives!
W: We wish that you check your work befor posting it.
I love all the wow words you use in the diary and yore sentns openers.
Also the way it feels touching
W:try to add a little more to your writing:)
I like your Dear Diary.
On your first sentence it doesn’t make sense.