Mar 142015
Once upon a time there was a horse called Herbie he lived in a stable in Devon.
One cold night he swam in the river it was freezing cold the water made him shiver all over his body.
After his swim he decided to eat some green grass on the bank he was hungry in his tummy.
Herbie strolled in the grass banking when he tripped over a steel pipe hurting his leg it was sore.
Getting up onto his legs he carefully stood on his hooves Herbie was a bit shaken up by the incident .
Herbie still began to chomp on the lovely grass.
Hello! I enjoyed reading your story about Herbie very much, although I felt sorry for him when he was hurt by the steel pipe! I really like the way you use language to show how Herbie is feeling, especially when you describe how cold the water is; I could just imagine the shock he got when he entered the water and felt the shiver all over his body!