Oct 012014
…As I looked around… …BOOM!… a colossal rocket flew into the air speedily and exploded …BOOM!… and all of the parts fell to the ground. I was stuck in my house because my mum locked me in because she’s horrible. Suddenly my mum unlocked the door and she shouted “what was that terrible horrible noise.” I replied “it was a rocket” “A ROCKET!” she bellowed as her ugly teeth bit down on her lip. “Mum I think you need some medicine.” “Ok” she replied she ate the medicine. She grew so big that she fell over.
Great story Alfie! I feel a bit sorry for your mum, you made her sound horrible! I know that’s not true at all 🙂 Brilliant use of speech punctuation. You missed some places where you should have ended the sentence or used a connective. Can you spot where?
Miss Speake