Oct 012014
0ne day playing in the colossal park with my best friends Aiden, Alfie ,Sayed and Nicholas. strait after the park we tip-toad down the creepy diminutive valley. Suddenly I notest an inormas castle. cautiously I walked down the swirly dark path. so I trembled into the pich black door I ran into the kitchen there was a old fation black and wite floor. And scelingntons hanging from the red roof it was as red as blood. then I zoomed up stairs like a roket thet was creeking . I saw a creepy foot hoping and I started screaming I heard bats scweeling and then we lived happly ever after.
Hi Jack,
Thank you for entering this week’s 100 Word Challenge.
I think you forgot to use the prompt but I still enjoyed reading your story.
You have really engaged the reader as you have chosen some very powerful and effective adjectives. Well done. It sounded like a scene out of a horror movie. I think you clearly have a talent for writing stories. You just need to work a little on punctuation and spelling.
I look forward to reading more adventures from you during the year.
Mrs Boyce @ Team 100 WC
Cork, Ireland
Come and visit our Class Blog at http://kidblog.org/MrsBoycesClass-4/
Jack that is a really good story because you have tied your best and you have used some cool connectives, adverbs and some nice adjectives.
I agree.
Hi Jack,
Thank you for entering this week\’s 100 Word Challenge.
I think you forgot to use the prompt but I still enjoyed reading your story.
You have really engaged the reader as you have chosen some very powerful and effective adjectives. Well done. It sounded like a scene out of a horror movie. I think you clearly have a talent for writing stories. You just need to work a little on punctuation and spelling.
I look forward to reading more adventures from you during the year.
Mrs Boyce @ Team 100 WC
Cork, Ireland
Come and visit our Class Blog at http://kidblog.org/MrsBoycesClass-4/
Well done Jack!
what was the colossal park like what did it have in it
well done jack in your story you could of put wat your friends look like (: (:
GREAT WORK JACK ……