Oct 232014
ONE HALLOWEEN SPECIAL ON 31ST OF OCTOBER A STORY BEGINS. Hi im Logan this is a horror story kids can read this but only 7/18 or over. On Halloween a boy called Charely was going trick or treating and when he was running he banged in to a peculiar object by some trees. “Ouch my head aaaarrrrr”. Gasping with fear Charley asked “errrrm… are…you… the… grim re…per?” The black hooded figure dark as an assassin cackled “yyyes boy this is the END of you now , follow me now!”.”NO WAY WHY WOOD I?”. Charley ran with fear screaming through the trees then … silence…
I bet your doing loads of cool stuff on your amazing blog!!!!
Logan I really liked the imagery you created with the sentence beginning, “the black-hooded figure, dark as an assassin ……” I could see the figure cackling at Charley! Well done.
Don’t forget to check for spelling and typing errors before you publish.
Keep on writing.
Logan, I was glad to read your work! Dialouge is a good way to make your reader feel like they are right there watching what’s happening. Write, reread out loud to fix and edit and rewrite. Work on being clear and you will be well understood. Keep at it Logan!
Mrs Borg (Team 100)
Sydney
I really liked your writing about grim reaper.
I liked how you used your punctuation in the correct places.
I liked how you used your connectives and openers.
I wish you could write more information about charley screaming!
Well done Logan can’t wait to read more and great it’s almost 5 months since you wrote this blog and your spelling has improved more xxx love Tracie