Jan 252015
One night a little girl called Sienna was fast asleep in bed. She was dreaming of a Wonderland. She walked through this little gate and saw the Queen of Hearts. The Queen of Hearts said, “Sweetheart you are not allowed in my castle so can you leave”. Sienna said, “Sorry but I will go into the castle”. She could feel things around her so she said “what was that I could feel”. Under her foot was something hard which was sparkling. It was smooth and cold in her hand. It was a diamond. She woke up screaming with excitement Wow!
Good use of speech marks Anya and I like the phrase ‘under her foot was something hard’. Next time try and make your problem more exciting. Also try to start more of your sentences like this rather than with ‘she’ and ‘it’.
Well done, keep writing!