Nov 122014
In November we remember all the soldiers that have died. We have poppies to represent the blood on fighting grownds. Family’s are sad, family’s are crying,familys do go through a lot because there sons or there Grandad or there brother might have died in war. For all the people who have died we hope they had a wonder full life.
REMEMBER REMEMBER THE ELEVENTH OF NOVEMBER for all the people who have died in first and second world war bless all the people who died and hope they have a wonderfull time in heaven.
I liked how you thought about the people who have died
I liked how you used the song in capital letters
I liked how you mentioned the Poppy’s
W:try to make it rhyme
thank you 🙂 🙂
Beautiful song.
It’s soothing.
I love the ending.
W:More in tune.
thank you 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂
I liked that you described the poppies .
I liked that you made it interesting .
I liked that you used cl and fs.
W:that you used a clause.
thanks 🙂 🙂 🙂
I like that the first part rhymes .
I like that at the start you wrote remember.
I liked that you tried to make it rhyme .
W:that you could write more.
I like it when you used family.
I like the way you display this piece of writing, but you might need to fix up some spelling like ‘familys’.