Oct 212014
One night I was going to the woods . They was colossal trees and baleful sounds. Suddenly they was a loud CRACK . It came from the other side of the wood. They was a sign saying ENTER IF YOU DARE. I thought why I couldn’t go in . But suddenly they was another crack and some body shot out of the trees like a rocket. So I went to see then I saw a pitch black woman with a long cloak so I set the sticks on fire but not on purpose. She fell to the ground and was never seen again.
I liked that you used CL and FS
I liked that you used adjectives.
I liked that you used connectives.
W:that you used a better opener.